Sequin Gowns & Mermaid Crowns : Let's Talk About This: The "Yes Man"

Monday, October 20, 2014

Let's Talk About This: The "Yes Man"

So I want to take the first post of the "Let's Talk About This..." series to talk about some life subjects.  I used to blog back in the day on the website Xanga (ohhh Xanga...) where I would just write basically a journal.  I'd write about things that were bothering me and about what I did that day.  Writing about something that's on my mind usually makes me feel 1000 times better and knowing that someone anonymous might be hearing me out is just an oddly comforting thing.  Long story short, I thought that through this series I could get some things off my chest while also giving helpful advice and maybe even some witty anecdotes, ;)

So for this post I want to talk about friendships.  And I don't mean in the cheesy way it sounds.  I mean, the actual relationships you make with the people who become your friends.

There are a lot of different types of friendships, as I've learned in my ripe 23 years.  I have friends that have been in my life for a very long time, but who I hardly see.  Yet, we'd do anything for each other and when we do see each other, we pick up right where we left off.  My best friend lives many miles away from me, yet we talk regularly and are prominent in each other's lives.  These are examples of wonderful friendships that I currently have.  Then there are also bad friendships.  People who may be fun to hang out with but are self centered and don't really care enough to listen to your problems or motivate you to do your homework, etc.  Friendships like these are shallow and don't usually last.  I've had a lot of friendships that ended pretty badly.  But I've learned to let the negative people go for my own betterment.

But I digress.  What I really want to talk about is the "yes man" of friends.  I have a friend who is wonderful.  He's fun to hang out with, is genuine, caring and one of the best friend's I've had.  However, he is a "yes man."  He has so many friends that every time one (or more) of them wants to hang out, it's always a yes.  Now there's nothing wrong with wanting to be a good friend and showing you care, but sometimes you can get in your own way.  See, my friend has a bad habit of overbooking.  And he's not the only friend I've had with this problem, but I'm just using him as a recent example.  So even though we talk over text and I know he genuinely wants to hang out with me, between all of the things he has to do and all of the days he's already planned, we never find the time.  Again, this is understandable, but it does kind of get to me sometimes.  It makes me feel like he essentially has to "pencil me in" and that I maybe don't make it high enough on the list to warrant a Sunday brunch.

Yes, even I get insecure about things sometimes.   I feel a little petty hanging on to this for so long, but it's' just confusing me.  I realize this seems like me just ranting, but I feel like there are others that are going through a similar thing and this is me reaching out to commiserate.  So I guess the public service announcement here would be don't overbook yourself.  Trying to be friends with everyone spreads out you ability to create deep friendships.  The more people you try to please, the less time you get with each individual.  Are you picking up what I'm putting down here?

So that's all I have to say about this for now.  What do you think? Have you experienced this from either end? Comment away!

XO, Briana


  1. OMG. I used to have an Xanga. Man, I wonder if I could log back in to it now... lol. I know exactly what you mean. I've been experiencing a lot of one-sided friendships as well. You're not alone. (: But, with time, you'll be a better judge of character.

    ♥ | | xoxo

    1. Haha I tried to log into mine too but I couldn't remember my info for the life of me lol. And yeah I think I've gotten better! But we shall see for sure! And just for the record, the guy I was talking about is great, just a little preoccupied haha. But other friendships have been very VERY one sided so I totally understand and I'm glad I'm not the only one! haha :)

      XO, Briana